How can this B Christmas

I've celebrated many Christmas's some with wonderful memories and others with awful memories. This Christmas is going to be different yet the same. Two dear people in my life went to be with the Lord in 09 with in 2 weeks of each other. One of them was such a puzzle to me and the other was no puzzle at all. One seemed to be different each Christmas sometimes happy to be around me and others wishing they were somewhere else (or at least that was the feeling I got). One gave me a sense of purpose and the other made me wonder why bother.

So how will this Christmas be? Well it always should have been about Jesus and with one of them it was and the other not so much. I tried to include both in my Churches celebrations and sometimes they both participated and some times neither (because of health reasons). Since my mid 40's Christmas has been all up to me. All the decorating, shopping, and baking so I have felt very lonely at times. So in that respect Christmas is nearly the same. The only big difference is I have help with the decorating this year and that has made it so much more fun (even though it is paid help it is still someone to share the fun with).

I used to decorate my neighbors house every year because she was a widow and older. One year I had an overnight celebration at my house with thirteen girls and we all decorated her house in the snow. It is a fond memory of mine. After that I did most of it by myself, but she appreciated it so much I felt the warmth of the season in my heart. Two years ago I got stuck on her roof for 40 minutes because I couldn't get the ladder to stay still enough to get on it to get down. Luckily it wasn't one of the colder years and she came out to see how I was doing and was horrified to know I had been up there all that time. We got help holding the ladder and finally I was safe on the ground once more. These all are the things that make memories that we never forget. Last year my husband was to ill for me to help her and sadly her children were too busy to do it for her. My house had little done to it as well but we did get the tree up and he watched as I decorated it and was happy to be there. This is a test year for me. Will I keep up the decorating each year or will I cut back little by little each year until there is only a tree and some lights.

Today I'm tired so I am leaving off at this point to be continued tomorrow ...